As a chemical engineer, I have always been passionate about my field. After graduating with a BEng Hons in Chemical Engineering, I’ve been fortunate to work in various sectors, including public sector supporting communities around the globe and IT consultancy.

Last year, my wife and I received the wonderful news that we were expecting our first child. We were over the moon, but my wife’s pregnancy brought its own set of challenges. She became unwell during her pregnancy and was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. We decided that it would be best for her to stop working, even though this would be a big financial hit for us. We did our best to push through.

We endured several scares and long nights in the hospital throughout the pregnancy. I’ll never forget the moment I sat in the operating theatre beside my wife praying for a safe delivery after the difficult preceding months. Our daughter was born just before Christmas last year. It was a truly special moment.

The next few months went by in a blur. I was desperately trying to support my wife’s recovery and manage newborn duties. And commuting nearly two hours each way for work was mentally and physically draining, especially for a salary that was barely sufficient for three of us. It seemed as though there weren’t enough hours in the day to turn our situation around.

The pressure mounted and I felt utterly worn out. My confidence crashed. Our financial struggles worsened and I dreaded potential disasters at every turn.

Despite all this, I still tried to maintain a façade of resilience around my wife.

I felt that, after all she had been through, I should be strong for her. I told myself that this is just what men do. We hold our heads up high and show no weaknesses. But within me I felt completely isolated.

I was at one of the lowest points in my life, questioning everything. My mental health had hit rock bottom. And I realised that I could not continue like this.

When I finally reached out to the Benevolent Fund, they responded with kindness and support. From our first conversation, their empathetic approach made a significant difference. They listened without judgement and offered practical advice and support.

I was awarded a Living Costs Grant, allowing me to cover my family's essential needs. That relieved some of our financial pressures,

My advisor recognised the importance of my mental health recovery and referred me to Evolve, who provided six brilliant counselling sessions.

I remember my first session with the counsellor; it was initially very hard for me as I was not used to opening up about my situation. I am incredibly grateful to her for being patient with me and for sharing stories from her own experiences, which really helped me to share my challenges with her.

As time went on, I found I was more confident in discussing the difficult situations I was facing. I always took actionable steps from our sessions – simple things like going for a walk or writing notes on my phone whenever I felt low. I would then share these thoughts with my counsellor during our meetings.

I started to gain the composure I needed to both develop my chemical engineering career and support my growing family. I also noticed that my positive energy began to have a beneficial impact on those around me.

Thanks to the Benevolent Fund’s grant, I was able to take my wife for a coffee during our walks. It might not seem like much, but that time together meant the world. Not only did it provide both of us with much-needed break, it also gave me the opportunity to openly discuss our situation with my wife. With the confidence I’d gained through counselling, I felt more comfortable to talk to her about what was really going on. That made all the difference.

Before counselling, I thought it was a sign of weakness for a man to express such feelings. On my journey with Evolve, I realised that seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a courageous step towards healing and growth.

Just like me, you might feel societal pressure to appear strong and composed, even at the expense of your own mental health. If you find yourself experiencing sleepless nights and battling negative thoughts, I urge you to reach out to the Benevolent Fund as I did.

As the quote goes, "It is okay to not be okay.“ Acknowledging that we all have our struggles is the first step toward seeking help. By taking care of our mental health, we can become stronger, more resilient individuals, capable of supporting ourselves and those we care about.

The skills I’ve learned from counselling have significantly improved life for all three of us. My levels of panic have eased, and while there’s still work to do, I feel ready to face the future.

*The name and certain details of this story have been changed to retain confidentiality. The photo is posed by a model.‍